Negative reviews from people you don’t know still feel “yucky”

A business we work with has had tremendous success with their products. They pour their heart and soul into their work and they light up when somebody wants to hear about what they are up to. It’s a small business story the world over. When you enter the business, the environment is anything but generic. There’s a couch to hang out and talk with the owner and the owner’s vinyl collection and turntable beckon you to slide a record you remember from the 70s or 80s from its sleeve and rock the place to life. Strings of market lights hang overhead–no fluorescent tubes; no Formica sales counters. The owner greets customers expecting they will part friends. If you consider they are also recognized as a top craftsman in their field, this accessibility to the “master” is remarkable.

Ah, but there are those review sites. You can flick through review after review expressing love for the hospitality, the product testimonials, the friendships formed; even the family’s old dog that sometimes hangs out at the back of the shop. Then there’s “that guy.” We all know him: he can never be happy. You don’t need to say his name out loud, but you know who just came to mind. When he walked into the shop he didn’t say much despite the owners attempts to draw him into their hospitality–no, not his style. He was not very familiar with their industry and specific products so appreciation for such a master of the trade reaching out to converse with him was entirely lost. Yes, that guy went home and wrote a review.  “Unremarkable.”  “I disliked the music that was playing.”  “The craftsman talks too much.” “the space wasn’t commercially lit.”

And how does the craftsman feel when he reads this?  Just like you, his gut reaction is to want to explain how this person got the whole situation wrong and try to win the person over.  So, should he explain his work took top awards, most people love the environment, the music is from his personal vinyl collection and most people want to converse, and the lighting was especially created to enhance the mood and decor? And, how does he get past the sting? It seems you can receive 10 praises and 1 negative review from someone you don’t know overwhelms all the others. It feels “yucky.”

Try to step back from it.

For a moment, imagine you’re at the Louvre pondering a very famous piece of art…much the way your customers examine your products and business. You’re examining and feeling the emotion in a powerful work and a museum guide (who happens to not be on strike at that moment) moves in beside you and another couple and in thickly French-accented English, relates history of the piece, some of the artist’s life story and the joys and pains that went into the creation of the work, the social setting of the time… As you stand there, you are further amazed at the depth behind the work. You remember this piece in an art text book as a college student; you knew it was famous, and the in-person experience confirms why this piece is here at the Louvre. Others pause, look, and whisper things like “powerful,” and “It’s so emotional…I…don’t know what to say.” That couple who stood beside you and the museum guide walk away and you and others overhear them. They wished the guide would have shut up his pretentious blah-blah-blah. They think the work is mundane and believe their 5 year old who has been doing ring-around-the-rosie with the Venus de Milo statue could have painted it. And furthermore, what’s with the Louvre being partly underground?….it’s like an tomb in there! Bystanders exchange fleeting glances of disapproval and shake their heads at each other. Nothing really needs to be said; everyone hopes these people will just move along.

Should the artist regard the negative opinion as worth more than those who looked, put their hand on their chest and simply sighed, or wiped away a tear–and shared no words? Should the artist feel the need to plead his case for why he painted the piece to gain the approval of this one couple? Should the artist believe the commentary of these folks has convinced the other people that his work is dull, mundane, unremarkable?

Next time you get a review from “that guy,” remember that one person’s opinion that you are unremarkable does not make it so.  Ground yourself with what you know about yourself. If you are providing excellent services, quality products, are being wonderfully hospitable and connecting positively with most you encounter, then it’s probably just “that guy.”  He isn’t your style; you aren’t his. And that is OK!

Besides, he obviously has lousy taste.